Fantasy Football is back

The actual NFL season may be a little under a month away, but fantasy football has begun. With the preseason under way, managers are now doing their research to determine who’s a bust and who’s a sleeper. Fantasy Football is in full swing! I am here to give you draft tips, players to stay away from, and I’ll even give you an evaluation of my fantasy team. Let’s start with the evaluation.

The league I’m in has held the draft already, here’s what the roster looks like; 2 QB’s, 2 RB’s, 2 WR’s, 1 TE, 1 Flex, 1 kicker, and 1 team for defense. By 2 QB’s I mean the starting roster has 2 quarterbacks, it’s unconventional but challenging. I’m in a Yahoo league not an ESPN league because I’m not a little girl, just thought I should clarify that before I give you a rundown of my team. 

QB’s: Patrick Mahomes and Ryan Tannehill starting, and Matt Ryan on the bench. When you’re in a league that has 2 quarterbacks in the starting lineup it’s pivotal that you draft a good quarterback….in the first round. I’m in an 8 person league (I’m not the commissioner), so it wasn’t hard to make the decision to grab a quarterback early. I drafted eighth so I always drafted back to back because it was a snake draft. I learned my lesson from last year and picked a QB I could rely on when my receivers had a down week (last year I drafted Ben Roethlisberger and Baker Mayfield). Mahomes is going to be a finalist for MVP and will throw 35+ touchdowns and 4,000+ yards. So I wasn’t conflicted about taking Mahomes over Saquon Barkley or Tyreek Hill. 

According to Yahoo draft analysis I must’ve ‘lost a bet’ when I took Ryan Tannehill with my first pick in the 6th round. I took Tannehill over Prescott because I’m not 100% sure Prescott will be healthy this year. It was only 10 months ago that Prescott injured his ankle so bad that ESPN blurred his ankle when showing the replay of his fall. Tannehill has AJ Brown and Julio Jones so he will have some monster games when those three click. Jones is coming off an injury and an overall down year, but he’s Julio Jones, he won’t let himself fail in a new environment. I blame bad coaching and chemistry for Julio’s down year, not him. 

RB’s: My two starting running backs are going to be the backbone of my team, Ezekiel Elliot and Josh Jacobs. Zeke is reportedly in the best shape of his life and ready to re-assert himself in the Cowboy’s offense. Elliot had somewhat of a down year, but I blame hamstring injuries and a new coach for that. Now that Mike McCarthy has seen Zeke and knows what adjustments to make with the running game I have no doubt in my mind Elliot will flourish and maybe even carry my team to its first ever championship. 

I grabbed Josh Jacobs with the first pick in the fourth draft which I consider a steal. Jacobs is a beast in the backfield and will probably finish the season with 10+ touchdowns. Last year Jacobs was misused and that’s why his yards per carry clocked in at 3.9, but Jon Gruden won’t give up on him. He was primarily used in goal line situations which is good for touchdowns but not so good for yards per carry. If Gruden gives Jacobs more touches when there’s open field there’s not a doubt in my mind Jacobs will go for 1,100+ yards this season. 

WR’s: My wide receivers are also looking pretty good this year, if my running backs are the backbone of this team my receivers are the muscle. Mike Evans and Adam Thielen are my two starting wide receivers, not bad eh? Mike Evans has Tom Brady and is a great red zone receiver. Nuff said. 

As for Adam Thielen it seems “fantasy football experts” have given him the kiss of death. Justin Jefferson is still the second wide receiver in the Vikings depth chart, and Thielen undoubtedly has better chemistry with Kirk Cousins because he keeps Cousins honest. Thielen is still the go-to guy in the red zone, Jefferson is more of a deep threat than a red zone receiver. Cousins isn’t one to take risks down field, making Adam Thielen Cousins’ favorite receiver.

TE: I only have one tight end on my team because I don’t think they are that relevant in the big picture. My one tight end is a good one, however. Mark Andrews is my tight end because whenever Lamar Jackson is in trouble he goes to Andrews. Whenever the Ravens are in the red zone, Lamar throws to Andrews. Do you get the gist? Andrews is Jackson’s go-to guy and that’s a fact.

Flex: Tyler Lockett fell right in my hands and I just had to take him. “Experts” say to get a running back for your flex positions, but I say “eff em.” I’ve had Lockett on my many fantasy football teams for each of the last three years, I couldn’t let some other manager draft him and relegate him to the bench, that would be wrong. Lockett is a solid flex option because Russ has great chemistry with him and trusts him down field. Lockett is a lock (nailed it!) for 1,000 yards and 8+ touchdowns, that’s all a manager can ask from a flex player. 

Kicker: Ryan Succop is my kicker because why not?

Defense: Patriots because they are always a reliable team defensively. 

Bench: Amari Cooper (yeah that’s right my team is so good he’s on my bench), James Robinson (what a steal), Matt Ryan (still good for 4,000+ yards and 30+ touchdowns), Chase Edmonds, Julio Jones (I drafted him in the 14th round, this can’t be the end! It just can’t be!), and finally Ronald Jones (goal line threat). 

That’s my team, I worked hard to get them, I put in the time to research each and every one of them and determined they are worthy of being on my team. I await thank you letters from each and every one of them. 

The draft can be tricky, not just because you’re picking a team you’re stuck with for the next 17 weeks, but because you are hungry and want a snack. Well here’s a comprehensive list of safe foods and beverages to eat/drink and foods/beverages to stay away from while drafting your team. 

Foods that are a go while drafting a team (I assume that you are drafting your team from a computer and not using a draft board because it’s not 1976). 

Chips: Chips are always a great option while drafting a team because while you may allow ants to have a feat with your crumbs, chips won’t interfere with the draft. Having Cheeto dust on your fingers won’t affect your keyboard at all, it may distract you while you’re on the board however. I swear they didn’t pay me to write that. 

Water: If you spill a little water on your computer it’s no problem just air it out and the computer will be fine. Water is the best available drink in the world so why not drink it during your draft. I swear water didn’t pay me to say that. I swear it!

Foods/beverages to stay away from.

Takeout: You may be thinking to yourself “oh let me go get some chinese food in the fridge” and bam! You missed your pick and auto draft selected a kicker in the first round, do you wanna be that guy? 

Soda: It might be tasty but if you spill soda on your keyboard it will get all sticky and crash your computer. For instance, you might be drinking a Coke and spill it on your keyboard, you panic and grab a towel to absorb the Coke. One problem. While you used the towel to clean up the Coke on your computer you also smashed on some keys accidentally and now you drafted a player that retired in the offseason. Do you wanna be that guy?  

Carrots: Because you don’t want to be the guy who eats carrots during a fantasy football draft. 

Now for the talk. I dreaded the talk, but I have to have it with you. Whatever you do while drafting your team, stay away from Joe Mixon and Carson Wentz. I know Joe Mixon is healthy and ready to join the Bengals offense, but we all know he will hurt himself again and be nothing but trouble for your team. Stay away from Joe Mixon, ya hear? 

As for Carson Wentz, I know he had some good seasons a couple of years ago and has had some good moments these past two years, but STAY AWAY. Even though Frank Reich is his coach he won’t be able to save Carson Wentz. He recently fell back on the injured list, proving he cannot stay healthy, therefore he cannot be trusted. 

That’s all for me. Remember to stay away from Wentz and Mixon, don’t eat takeout during a draft, and don’t draft Ben Roethlisberger (trust me on that). 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *